don't know who wrote this poem but..oh my gosh
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 at 2:00pm | Edit Note | Delete
Hi fellow parent griefers. i stumbled upon this poem today ..kinda summed it all up, thought you might relate..pass it onto all those broken hearted moms and dads
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some people are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think about how much they hurt.
No one deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger person.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a person who has lost a child.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Come run with us May 2009
Come run with us(childrun) ..we dont have the swine flu
Monday, May 4, 2009 at 1:27pm | Edit Note | Delete
Hello Everyone
Well did i say(hastily) in my last blog that our trip went without a hitch...silly Lori you should no better...Well in true Lowey style or Loriism philosophy my beautiful Mexican vacation did not end in 8 days as the travel agent told us..we were able to keep that Mexican feeling going a little longer..."careful what you wish for" Loriism 101..Well for those of you that i did not let in on our dirty little secret(so as not to panic you) we have spent the last 6 days in protective custody , i mean quarantine. I really don't know if i made a huge mistake being a "good mom" ...and taking my kids into the clinic for cold symptoms. I thought that we would walk into the clinic and they would ask if we had been to Mexico City or Cancun and once i replied " no we were on the cheaper side of Mexico" they would warn my well seasoned medical mind about temperature and fluids and rest and we would all be ok. At the very sight of our tropical but fading tan they whisked us off in masks and gowns to " the quarantine room" i think it actually had a trap door in it, but i digress. I spotted the looks of the people in the clinic as they escorted us like swine off to slaughter , they appeared to either be saying "thats what you get for going on a vacation" or " you filthy family get you and your germ laden offspring outta here". I knew instantly that there was no turning back. The doctor swabbed us and laid it on the line .."no school,...no work(after being back one whole day).. no public places"...(oh except darcy who was allowed to continue his lifestyle because he wasnt there as the chauffuer to these hackers and runny nosers) i on the other hand still had to be tested. bummer , the kids kinda happy for day 1 ..just what they need more time off of school i was afraid i was going to start getting knocks on the door (from one of those poeple..you know the ones lol)asking me if i'd started homeshooling my children or if i had them hidden in some dark cellar. The results originally supposed to take 24 hours well that took a quick turn to 3 or 4 days. By day 2 the kids were climbing the walls and in my own philosophical 1/100thof the reasoning part of my brain was looking to make this all 'ok' , "an adventure" maybe , an "untimed bout of "special time"...huh i soon realized and we all joked that maybe Ashley was truly pissed that she didnt go on this vacation and judging by the names all these sibling beauties called eachother in the past i could see her naming this flu personally. Well we did find ways to pass the time , going to the park , going to the park , going to the par k and oh did i mention going to the park and dashing out of the park at the mere sight of another human like we were trolls from under the port mann bridge. Our neighbours were great , were completely convinced we didnt have anything and kept us feeling human by allowing us to share the same breathing space , they let the kids all get together and i even shared wine.. i mean coffee with a couple of them.( no not form the same glass..we're not wierd) What did we get out of this ..well the kids actually started crying one morning cause of the stuff they were missing out on at school and socially.. the empathy wasn't that far away for us to remember just what Ashley had gone through each time she spiked a fever and the next 10 days a complete write off...the lessons of the journey , never far away , never out of reach for any great length of time. Well all in all reminded how little some things are in the big picture , how if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans, and how sometimes things just make you sit still for a while , maybe we were starting to run too fast , im not sure, maybe they just really needed their rooms painted (which they skillfully conned darcy into..wiley girls!).We got the news today all is well, tests are negative, what weird words to hear "the tests are negative" still torcher waiting to hear any results anymore but the word negative can sometimes be so positive...thanks for reading thanks for understanding..got to run..oh by the way speaking of run, continue reading.......
Sunday June 7 2009 Our family and friends will be running as a team for Childrun a fundraiser for childhood cancer. As you know Ashley fought a tough tough battle and ran a long hard journey, for that we are running in her honour as well as to help find a cure for our other friends still fighting. I have posted a link on our facebook page "Ashley we love you" is our team name( something that has stuck since christy created the facebook group) if you would like to join us please do ...all details are on the webpage including downloading a pledge form and registration run route etc(which is at BCCH) Just click on the link and join the team or if you enter childrun.com and enter join a team , then choose Ashley we love you. I know not everyone can join us but if you would like i think there is an opton for"virtual runners" you can do this online and not even run(wow life is good, run a marathin and not run..awesome) please dont feel you have to run you can walk skip or cartwhell i dont care , as well there will be younger ones joining us so lots of excuses to take it easy. If you are a marathoner , Patty(who ran last year... ithink i beat her by a step ...absoultelyLOLOLOLOL) Tammi(and apparently jens..lol) then by all means show us up . If you cant run and would like to contribute all donations big and small are a huge help financially and spiritually.There will be a blue team sign in the crowd for you to find us and there is a deadline of i think may 15 to register in order to get your tshirt with the team name on it, however, you can stil join the team after that. I wil be responsible for picking up all the team pckgs and will give them to you if i see you before the race or morning of. Because Ashleys theme has always been butterflies i thought it would be kinda neat if you want to show a butterfly in some way. If the weather is nice maybe we can go to a park for a picnic (QueenE)or something after as it gets quite congested there after , just an idea no pressure, any ideas welcome..Any questions please email me , i know the registration is a bit pricey and i do thank you all for being a big part of our team through all of this ...happy pledging ..
Peace
The Lowey Family
Monday, May 4, 2009 at 1:27pm | Edit Note | Delete
Hello Everyone
Well did i say(hastily) in my last blog that our trip went without a hitch...silly Lori you should no better...Well in true Lowey style or Loriism philosophy my beautiful Mexican vacation did not end in 8 days as the travel agent told us..we were able to keep that Mexican feeling going a little longer..."careful what you wish for" Loriism 101..Well for those of you that i did not let in on our dirty little secret(so as not to panic you) we have spent the last 6 days in protective custody , i mean quarantine. I really don't know if i made a huge mistake being a "good mom" ...and taking my kids into the clinic for cold symptoms. I thought that we would walk into the clinic and they would ask if we had been to Mexico City or Cancun and once i replied " no we were on the cheaper side of Mexico" they would warn my well seasoned medical mind about temperature and fluids and rest and we would all be ok. At the very sight of our tropical but fading tan they whisked us off in masks and gowns to " the quarantine room" i think it actually had a trap door in it, but i digress. I spotted the looks of the people in the clinic as they escorted us like swine off to slaughter , they appeared to either be saying "thats what you get for going on a vacation" or " you filthy family get you and your germ laden offspring outta here". I knew instantly that there was no turning back. The doctor swabbed us and laid it on the line .."no school,...no work(after being back one whole day).. no public places"...(oh except darcy who was allowed to continue his lifestyle because he wasnt there as the chauffuer to these hackers and runny nosers) i on the other hand still had to be tested. bummer , the kids kinda happy for day 1 ..just what they need more time off of school i was afraid i was going to start getting knocks on the door (from one of those poeple..you know the ones lol)asking me if i'd started homeshooling my children or if i had them hidden in some dark cellar. The results originally supposed to take 24 hours well that took a quick turn to 3 or 4 days. By day 2 the kids were climbing the walls and in my own philosophical 1/100thof the reasoning part of my brain was looking to make this all 'ok' , "an adventure" maybe , an "untimed bout of "special time"...huh i soon realized and we all joked that maybe Ashley was truly pissed that she didnt go on this vacation and judging by the names all these sibling beauties called eachother in the past i could see her naming this flu personally. Well we did find ways to pass the time , going to the park , going to the park , going to the par k and oh did i mention going to the park and dashing out of the park at the mere sight of another human like we were trolls from under the port mann bridge. Our neighbours were great , were completely convinced we didnt have anything and kept us feeling human by allowing us to share the same breathing space , they let the kids all get together and i even shared wine.. i mean coffee with a couple of them.( no not form the same glass..we're not wierd) What did we get out of this ..well the kids actually started crying one morning cause of the stuff they were missing out on at school and socially.. the empathy wasn't that far away for us to remember just what Ashley had gone through each time she spiked a fever and the next 10 days a complete write off...the lessons of the journey , never far away , never out of reach for any great length of time. Well all in all reminded how little some things are in the big picture , how if you want to make God laugh tell him your plans, and how sometimes things just make you sit still for a while , maybe we were starting to run too fast , im not sure, maybe they just really needed their rooms painted (which they skillfully conned darcy into..wiley girls!).We got the news today all is well, tests are negative, what weird words to hear "the tests are negative" still torcher waiting to hear any results anymore but the word negative can sometimes be so positive...thanks for reading thanks for understanding..got to run..oh by the way speaking of run, continue reading.......
Sunday June 7 2009 Our family and friends will be running as a team for Childrun a fundraiser for childhood cancer. As you know Ashley fought a tough tough battle and ran a long hard journey, for that we are running in her honour as well as to help find a cure for our other friends still fighting. I have posted a link on our facebook page "Ashley we love you" is our team name( something that has stuck since christy created the facebook group) if you would like to join us please do ...all details are on the webpage including downloading a pledge form and registration run route etc(which is at BCCH) Just click on the link and join the team or if you enter childrun.com and enter join a team , then choose Ashley we love you. I know not everyone can join us but if you would like i think there is an opton for"virtual runners" you can do this online and not even run(wow life is good, run a marathin and not run..awesome) please dont feel you have to run you can walk skip or cartwhell i dont care , as well there will be younger ones joining us so lots of excuses to take it easy. If you are a marathoner , Patty(who ran last year... ithink i beat her by a step ...absoultelyLOLOLOLOL) Tammi(and apparently jens..lol) then by all means show us up . If you cant run and would like to contribute all donations big and small are a huge help financially and spiritually.There will be a blue team sign in the crowd for you to find us and there is a deadline of i think may 15 to register in order to get your tshirt with the team name on it, however, you can stil join the team after that. I wil be responsible for picking up all the team pckgs and will give them to you if i see you before the race or morning of. Because Ashleys theme has always been butterflies i thought it would be kinda neat if you want to show a butterfly in some way. If the weather is nice maybe we can go to a park for a picnic (QueenE)or something after as it gets quite congested there after , just an idea no pressure, any ideas welcome..Any questions please email me , i know the registration is a bit pricey and i do thank you all for being a big part of our team through all of this ...happy pledging ..
Peace
The Lowey Family
Ashleys schoarship..April 2009
ashleys scholarship
Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 12:05pm | Edit Note | Delete
In response to information requested regarding Ashleys scholarship contributions we have posted a note from her principal at Yale , this is FYI only do not feel obligated, i belive there is/are some school fundraisers coming up for opportunities to contribute. Thank you... The Loweys
From Yale Principal
Glen Roger
Ashley Lowey was a wonderful young student at Yale Secondary School who died too young, succumbing to a rare form of cancer at the age of 16. In her memory, a scholarship has been established through the Abbotsford Foundation. It is our hope that the fund will soon reach about $10,000 which will allow for an annual self sustaining $500 scholarship to help remember her forever.
The volunteer moms of the Yale cafeteria work tirelessly to provide a low cost lunch to our students. From the profits in our cafeteria, the moms have donated a $5000 base to begin the fund. Anyone interested in contributing to this cause can come to the school or donate directly to the Abbotsford Community Foundation (Ashley Lowey Memorial Fund). Contributions to this charitable cause will generate a tax receipt from the Abbotsford Foundation.
Thursday, April 23, 2009 at 12:05pm | Edit Note | Delete
In response to information requested regarding Ashleys scholarship contributions we have posted a note from her principal at Yale , this is FYI only do not feel obligated, i belive there is/are some school fundraisers coming up for opportunities to contribute. Thank you... The Loweys
From Yale Principal
Glen Roger
Ashley Lowey was a wonderful young student at Yale Secondary School who died too young, succumbing to a rare form of cancer at the age of 16. In her memory, a scholarship has been established through the Abbotsford Foundation. It is our hope that the fund will soon reach about $10,000 which will allow for an annual self sustaining $500 scholarship to help remember her forever.
The volunteer moms of the Yale cafeteria work tirelessly to provide a low cost lunch to our students. From the profits in our cafeteria, the moms have donated a $5000 base to begin the fund. Anyone interested in contributing to this cause can come to the school or donate directly to the Abbotsford Community Foundation (Ashley Lowey Memorial Fund). Contributions to this charitable cause will generate a tax receipt from the Abbotsford Foundation.
Our Mexican Vacation April...2009
Our Mexican Vacation
Monday, April 20, 2009 at 2:26pm | Edit Note | Delete
There is something to be said about too much of a good thing....kidding...no there's not, Mexico is definitley a place i could call home for several months of the year, the beaches are beautiful, so are the people.... and the weather.... there is something to be said for that kind of warmth on your body,it heats you from the inside out and awakens you out of your winter grayness and turns you into a bronzy sun goddess(thats not bragging ,it is true for all bikini levels) ) I will try not to bore you with all the details but you have the power to click this off if i begin to ramble.
Unlike most Lowey excursions we got there without a hitch, no lost luggage , tickets or kids, wow! huge for us! We got to the resort and we were awestruck , it was grand! i mean grand! no other word for it. We spent the next day absorbing all the resort had to offer and sucking back refreshments ..kids got a kick out of ordering fancy cocktails while continuing to swim. we sluffed back and forth between pool and beach all day , stopping of course to fill up on whatever kind of food your imagination could conjur up, for Brittanny that meant all day ice cream, no fruit or veggies for that kid "im on vacation " she said(man im a bad mom) We got to experience different food from different themed restaurants each night it was incredible , the food was to die for. i'm almost afraid to cook for my family again..somehow my stir fry's and pasta dishes don't compare. There were theater performances everynight, and movies on the beach, kids entertainment, water sport activities ... christy and darcy took scuba lessons, everything i have mentioned was included in the price. The sunsets, breathtaking! Dacry and i got to appreciate it in peace one night when the girls discovered where the internet cafe was...can't get away from everything i guess, even though i purposely left te laptop at home. It was difficult to leave the resort but i knew we had to see more of Mexico than sand and water because we were staying 40 mins outside of the city of Peurto Vallarta(actually in a different state) we went into town and the girls got a glimpse of a different side of Mexico. Now we had told the girls about the bartering system in Mexico as did some of their friends but funny enough when we did some research and realized that the average hotel worker makes about 10.00 a day and crafters not much more...bartering went out the window, the kids couldn't do it , they said "we wouldn't do this in American Eagle or Wal Mart it would be embarassing...wow how real that moment was) speaking of which...there is a walmart in Puerto Vallarta, and as i talked to one of the Mexican tourism guys who used to live in Vancouver he told me that Walmart was brought in specifically for the tourists , most average Mexican families cannot afford Walmart..unbelivable! so besides trying to get a 3 for a better price deal my kids did not really learn the skill of bartering (bad mom). The kids got to swim with the dolphins , that was pretty cool. Brittanny was a little that we couldn't get one for a pet when we got home. We came back everyday to nice clean rooms, a dream come true for me...(the kids had a seperate room) we tipped well ...when they say tips included ...don't believe it ..tip...God only knows what all inclusive tips really means...some of these hotels are owned by N.Americans/Europeans..Anyways i walked into the girls rooms after they were getting ready one morning and it looked like a bomb went off "clean this up before we go please" ...their response..not the smartest thing to say...c'mon you know what they said..something about "the maid will do it , we left her a tip" Get your spoiled north american butt back there and clean it up " there is a difference between cleaning your room and being a slob" Besides i didn't want them to get too used to someone cleaning up after them it would be to much of a shock for them when they got home so i was actually being quite kind to them.(good mom)
We were lucky enough one night to be able to go to dinner with our very good friends and partners in hell "The Lays" Logans family... and her grandparents/ extended family.Devon..we got to know them while we spent time at BCCH. Logan has been fighting for 4 1/2 years with brain cancer and is just amazing...Brody and Brittanny hit it off quite well and the girls and Logan all played video games while we adults ate, drank and were merry( merlot will do that to ya) it was so great to spend time with them off hosptial sight somewhere where cancer was far away from us all , but of course never too far , it was the 2 month anniversary of ashley that day and i had not seen Jen and her family since the service so i had a bit of a moment before we made it to the Italian restaurant , but once there we dd we remembered ashley with joy and smiles and some teasing of "life with dr.s at BCCH"The song Moonriver came on and that song always makes me feel peaceful so i knew we were at the right place at the right time with the right people. I hope they were able to get away from all of it for a while, and if i know Jen ...their family is soaking up "the moment" as i write this.
Probably one of our most favourite days was our last full day in Mexico , i hummed and hawed about booking us a zip line tour , the girls had heard about this and seen pics of it and were dying to try it, Britt included.. I, on the other hand hate heights have a fear of falling and generally feel like i ve faced enough fear for one year but after much deliberation and Darcy hardly caring one way or the other if we did it, we booked it ..unreturnable so we had to go now at that price. The trip up there was an adventure, all through the mountains and jungles of Mexico, the driving laws in mexico(if there are any ) are quite frightening as is there modes of transporation..The road to the Zipline..well if you can imagine a one lane dirt road through the fraser canyon with no speed limit in a open air run down kinda caravan(i dont mean the doge minivan) and seatbelts that look like there made of tin soup cans then thats a visual of what this trip was like ..oh did i meniton the driver lives on tips ...sweeeeet ride...not! The desparity of income levels could not be more prevelant as it was on the way up this mountain..on the oceanside were these crazy "out of this world" kinda houses ..no , i mean villas , they were stunning..who lives like this? Across the street on the mountainside , the dirt side, were thatched homes with sparkling white laundry starching in the hot sun while a mexican mother and her babies sell papaya form their delapitated porch. It was nuts!!!do we have that here too? is it just not as clear? i don't know
Ok, the zipline...did i mention i hate heights..well there is a group of lovely young Mexican men whom my daughter would have loved to have taken home as pets(no not brittanny..christy!) who are well skilled at easing the fear and panic of moms in a very eye candy kinda way. They put on a great show and before i could say give me a tequila shot we were harnessed and helmetted up ready to start ... this trip very quickly made sense to me....follow along... The trip up here brought thoughts to my head like"i feel like something is going to happen , im on dangerous ground here" "next we had to prepare for the "journey" "never had to put on gear like this before" "a 14 line journey of fear sounds like a 14 month journey of fear" first line ...leap of faith..not so bad ..got a taste for it , got through it ...not so bad ..we can do this" as the months ...oh i mean ziplines increased so did the intensity so did the fear...it wasn't getting easier it was getting scarier ...by the seventh month... oh i mean seventh zipline things were really freaky no more little stuff out came the big guns...canyons ...with high places to fall from..my daughter was starting to think this isn't getting any easier .."i want to stop" she said, "i can't do this anymore" i wanted to pack her up and run down the canyon but i knew we had to stay i told her i was scared too...you know what she said " well mom i guess we just have to face our fears together" "They" told me not to worry that they were going to take good care of her( this sounded all too familiar, i didn't buy it ) we were 500 feet up and i had to trust this guy that he was right, she went by herself and as she stepped off the platform all by herself i knew i couldnt control what happened next i just had to have faith that whatever happened she was somehow protetected...the on lookers were amazed at how brave she was and how we, her family looked more scared than she ...but they didn't know that we had already said goodbye to one daughter this year, why were we taking these risks at this particular time was beyond me, i think there were even times we all wanted to turn back and say forget it lets dont do anything scary again. There was a time when she was going over the canyon and she didnt have enough weight behind her to get across, there she sat suspended on a line in the middle of another scary place and i wanted to run out and grab her cause i thought she would be so scared waiting for someone to rescue her and when he came and brought her safely across she didnt look scared. i was so relieved, the journey ended , we were ok , scared, relieved and all together.. we did it , we faced it , and faith worked.. We were so grateful. Hope you caught the symbolism.
Anyways, back to the fun stuff... I highly recommend everyone try all inclusive at least once in their life, it was a real treat, the kids were spoiled, we did all the tacky tourist stuff, and looked the part im sure , darcy with his straw hat and flower shirt, me and the girls with our braided hair , Mexican flower dresses and fake tattoos,(butterflies) we got sucked into it all ,(except time share...good boy darcy), mostly because as i sat there drinking my ice cold margeritas i need to releive myself of the unfairness as these people walked up and own the beaches trying to make a buck, i liked to see all the colours together of their handy work whether it was braclets or dresses or blankets it all looks so beautiful when the colours are all mixed in ,made me want to buy and it was nice to spend a few minutes asking them a question or two about their work as we picked out our treasures..call me a sucker..not so bad as darcy i think he paid double on a few things he is such a sucker for a seniorita calling him senor.I am glad to be home, i feel closer to Ashley here and wondered alot how she would have liked this trip, some parts yes and some parts no , i think she would have felt a little uncomfortable with all the service, it was nice at first but sometimes its "too much" it doesn't seem right to be waited on that much , yes i know we paid for it and yes i now it helps tourism there blah blah blah but it still feels like too much and they are so friendly about it , one thing i know about myself it that there is no way i could work there i would have been fired day 1 could not have handled the arrogant attitudes of some of our neighbours to the south(sorry my american friends i dont mean all of you i mean some form those" live big states" who think canadians aren't doing their job in the war..yep these are the same people who think all -inclusive means you dont have to use your manners or thank the staff it was sick and i would have not been a gracious friendly highly trained represntative of Mexico had i worked there...(note to self...no tourism work for you missy) Glad to be home , kids with some colour , Darcy hopefully a little relaxed and me, actually contimplating going back to work..(.have to pay for it all now,call you later boss)glad to have had the experience,could live on the beach forever with no service. But we still come back to find the same things waiting for us, somethings hard, somethings soft and somethings just the way its meant to be.
Thank you for all your well-wishes, had a margerita for each and every one of you.
Peace,
Lori
Pet Peeve April 2009
Ok ok you'd think that after the year i've had i would have bigger fish to fry ... had gain some perspective on how not to sweat the small stuff.... learned how to be a little more tolerant...but i guess a sign of healing might be to see bits and pieces of yourself slowly emerging or maybe its a true sign of me getting ready to really loose it.Don't worry i have no idea how to use firearms so were still safe, however, that doesn't mean i don't start my mornings out wanting to blow ...wondering what some people use for brains.
My biggest pet peeve...oblivious people!..people that feel they have a sense of entitlement!..that is not to say that i am super enlightened and have it all figured out ..no, i 'm talking about simple understanding of the world around us. I'm not asking or saying we have to know the goals and outcomes of the last G5 summitt or we have to pretend to understand the reason for the whole Iraq state of affairs, what i do think we lack, especially while in our cars , especailly in the morning, especaiily at school drop offs is AWARENESS.
I know were all busy in the morning ,most people's idea of the morning routine is probabaly not as pleasant as we would like it to be especially if you have teenage girls who feel is necessary to stragihten their hair five minutes before school, forgoing breakfast,lunch , organization, or even a simple Good morning. I' remember the days of little ones too, so that was also a cruel laugh at morning bliss.
Since the implementation of middle school, long gone are the days of school drop off being a one stop endeavour...no , now i get to travel to 3 schools , which is actually an improvemnet from when it used to be 4 schools. It seems that although schools are shutting down in record amounts the school parking lot is exploding. Why i have allowed my kids to be driven to school is probably my own fault but its one of those things i used to do for them on my way to work("work"..thats a weird word) so fighting these parking lots has become second nature for me and believe you me its a fight just to get in and then get back out...apparently engineering geniuses got together and oraganized some kind of futile drive thru parking system which resembles a pack of confused meth addicted lab mice trying to frantically beat their heads against a wall to get out of the mind boggling maze designed to trap them in a scientists idea of a no win situation experiment. Now maybe i'm lying too much blame on engineers after all its not necassarily the creators fault its the dummies who dont think the rules apply to them . Case in point, in each of the three schools i drop off at there are drive thru lanes and there are drop off lanes, once you finish dropping your child off in the drop off lane common sense tells us that we put our blinker on to signal that we are entering the drive thru lane and away we go ...in theory . I think what happens is that some people who grew up with too much money ,or think they are so busy and important or that their honkin SUV means "get out of my way " they assume that the rules don't apply to them, now i am no driving expert and i committ infractions all the time but this is down right insane. These people pull right into the middle of the drop off lane (becasue its closer to the entrance of the school) and let their child out , they actually block the people wanting to continue driving through , apparently their children are so so special that they require valet drop off ,their children are so special that they cannot nor should they have to walk one extra unneccessary step , they are so entitled to not get an extra rain drop on their pretty delicate head that their parents have decided to tell their children that their comfort is much more important than the chaos they cause around them, the sense of order they think belongs to other people . These are the same parent s who perpetaute western thinking "we deserve it " we dont deserve it! we don't desrve anything cushy we have here! , we are only privleged to have it , for the most part we dont' "deserve" to have nice cars ,we dont" deserve" to have fancy houses, we don't "deserve" to have extra cirricular activiites , we don't "deserve" to be dropped off any closer to the front steps then anyone else just as those in other countries don't "deserve" to have the attoricities they recieve. We don't "deserve" cleaner water then them , we don't have it becasue we work harder or are better people we are"priveleged mostly because of the stroke of luck of where we were born.
I am ranting , because im hoping that someone will either know what im taking about or use this place for getting out your aggressions because although i sit around in my car wondering why nobody says anything i'm acutley aware of why we dont. the world is too violent with people who think they deserve to be. And it doesn't matter what you say to them anyways , i tried, even politley, the woman in the car just looked at me like i was stupid and said "ahh my son has hockey", (the high school is a hockey school , so i suppose the boy can't nor should he have to carry his hockey bag and extra 3 steps) , the worst is when they sit there and continue to have a conversation with their kids in this lane ...c'mon move your privelged prima dona ass over so the rest of us can get to work(oh yeah , well...when i do go back ) Anyways, just a thought and i feel better ,go ahead agree with me or not ,if you don't i know you're on e of THEM!... lol... what gets you?
My biggest pet peeve...oblivious people!..people that feel they have a sense of entitlement!..that is not to say that i am super enlightened and have it all figured out ..no, i 'm talking about simple understanding of the world around us. I'm not asking or saying we have to know the goals and outcomes of the last G5 summitt or we have to pretend to understand the reason for the whole Iraq state of affairs, what i do think we lack, especially while in our cars , especailly in the morning, especaiily at school drop offs is AWARENESS.
I know were all busy in the morning ,most people's idea of the morning routine is probabaly not as pleasant as we would like it to be especially if you have teenage girls who feel is necessary to stragihten their hair five minutes before school, forgoing breakfast,lunch , organization, or even a simple Good morning. I' remember the days of little ones too, so that was also a cruel laugh at morning bliss.
Since the implementation of middle school, long gone are the days of school drop off being a one stop endeavour...no , now i get to travel to 3 schools , which is actually an improvemnet from when it used to be 4 schools. It seems that although schools are shutting down in record amounts the school parking lot is exploding. Why i have allowed my kids to be driven to school is probably my own fault but its one of those things i used to do for them on my way to work("work"..thats a weird word) so fighting these parking lots has become second nature for me and believe you me its a fight just to get in and then get back out...apparently engineering geniuses got together and oraganized some kind of futile drive thru parking system which resembles a pack of confused meth addicted lab mice trying to frantically beat their heads against a wall to get out of the mind boggling maze designed to trap them in a scientists idea of a no win situation experiment. Now maybe i'm lying too much blame on engineers after all its not necassarily the creators fault its the dummies who dont think the rules apply to them . Case in point, in each of the three schools i drop off at there are drive thru lanes and there are drop off lanes, once you finish dropping your child off in the drop off lane common sense tells us that we put our blinker on to signal that we are entering the drive thru lane and away we go ...in theory . I think what happens is that some people who grew up with too much money ,or think they are so busy and important or that their honkin SUV means "get out of my way " they assume that the rules don't apply to them, now i am no driving expert and i committ infractions all the time but this is down right insane. These people pull right into the middle of the drop off lane (becasue its closer to the entrance of the school) and let their child out , they actually block the people wanting to continue driving through , apparently their children are so so special that they require valet drop off ,their children are so special that they cannot nor should they have to walk one extra unneccessary step , they are so entitled to not get an extra rain drop on their pretty delicate head that their parents have decided to tell their children that their comfort is much more important than the chaos they cause around them, the sense of order they think belongs to other people . These are the same parent s who perpetaute western thinking "we deserve it " we dont deserve it! we don't desrve anything cushy we have here! , we are only privleged to have it , for the most part we dont' "deserve" to have nice cars ,we dont" deserve" to have fancy houses, we don't "deserve" to have extra cirricular activiites , we don't "deserve" to be dropped off any closer to the front steps then anyone else just as those in other countries don't "deserve" to have the attoricities they recieve. We don't "deserve" cleaner water then them , we don't have it becasue we work harder or are better people we are"priveleged mostly because of the stroke of luck of where we were born.
I am ranting , because im hoping that someone will either know what im taking about or use this place for getting out your aggressions because although i sit around in my car wondering why nobody says anything i'm acutley aware of why we dont. the world is too violent with people who think they deserve to be. And it doesn't matter what you say to them anyways , i tried, even politley, the woman in the car just looked at me like i was stupid and said "ahh my son has hockey", (the high school is a hockey school , so i suppose the boy can't nor should he have to carry his hockey bag and extra 3 steps) , the worst is when they sit there and continue to have a conversation with their kids in this lane ...c'mon move your privelged prima dona ass over so the rest of us can get to work(oh yeah , well...when i do go back ) Anyways, just a thought and i feel better ,go ahead agree with me or not ,if you don't i know you're on e of THEM!... lol... what gets you?
Reunion...April 2009
reunion
Friday, April 3, 2009 at 9:53am | Edit Note | Delete
Okay, this note is not my typical blog blog blog... i was wondering the other day whether to keep on with writing after my main subject(cancer) is no longer the focus of our life, however, i realized that during this journey we opened ourselves up and it was not only about cancer it was about one familys struggle in this thing we call life , so ,maybe our lives are on hold from the high drama and roller coaster ride it once was but we still keep on having "lowey moments " so i i will continue to write here and there, read only what you want, this is for fun , it is like spiritual exercise for me.
So a quick update on the latest...well...still taking it day by day ..still not sure of what were supposed to be doing...We are going to Mexico, mostly for a change of scenery and to spoil the kids a little its been a while since they've had a vacation or even a get away so im hoping that a 5 star all inclusive will satisfy their little "how come we nevers." We may not be going for the same reason everyone else goes but i do plan on lying on the beach and soaking up rays after being deprived of natural sunlight on the fluorescant induced cancer ward for so long. I am planning a bathing suit /bikini shopping trip with the girls this weekend ...does anyone know where you can buy a magic bikini?..you know the ones and if you dont know what i'im talking about...you suck!
We recently got a family membership to the new ARC so darcy and i have been working out quite a bit, unfortunately they dont sell abs for mexico anywhere so i guess its the old fashioned thing...exercise..no really..its been a good stress reliever and again not much time for that stuff last year, however, i did mention a parents gym for my wish list for the new childrens hospital so we'll see if my nagging paid off , hope none of you have to find out.
HHHMMMMM what else is new? oh yeah! for those who have been talking me out of my grade 7 reunion...i didn't listen , do i ever? I have to say i had a really good time despite the "carrie 3 " episode it could have been. I took my best friend Patty with me and glad i did, she keeps me from saying things i really shouldn't, (it works both ways )so thank you Patty. If you ever want to visit your "mini me" go to a 30 reunion from grade 7 when you have really not seen the people in that many years..its mind blowing ..especially when you see pictures of yourself that you dont even remember being taken(okay for those of you who know the scoop..thats not what im talking about) It was so wonderful to see the people who shaped your formative years , to look back and remember how cool you thought you were , to hear the music of the mid 70"s like fleetwood mac and abba and bay city rollers, to see that yes flared jeans were "in" back then. hard to look at the valiant efforts we made to replicate Farrah Fawcett's feathered hair-do. It was such a time of innocence i remember carefree days of leaving the house on my bike in the morning and not returning until dark at the age of 11 ...could we do that know ??? not unless you are ready to turn your kids over to some predator or child services ..your choice. Now, we have to arrange "play dates" when the hell did things go from that to this ...well i could probably tell you..right about that time because one of our classmates was actually a victim of Olsons terror so i'm assuming we were the last of the innocent age. I brought home a dvd from the reunion which featured one of my old classmates interviewing our gr 6 science teacher about the "chicken project" (anybody under the age of 30 should close there ears this gets graphic) we had to boil the skin off a dead chicken after disecting it, then remove all the bones and glue them back on cardboard in the right stucture??My children were horrifed..we thought nothing of it.
We also talked about peanut butter ..i know there are many kids allergic and i'm sure if my kid was one of them i'd be on the biggest soap box right now, but the word it self seems dirty now , peanut butter! its as canadian as ..well..maple syrup..im sure thats next, my heart goes out to those who cant afford much more than that , peanut butter is good protien and goes along way, i think i lived on it for many years .
Anyways, back to the reunion i appreciate all those offers of sending me to the reunion with armed police officers (leigh ann ..nancy)i'm good ...there were many laughs, many apologies, many memories, much empathy and a chance to get away from it for a while was kinda nice..felt like i had an angel watching over me the whole time...i think we know i did. Thanks for reading.
Peace,
Lori
Written over a year ago · Comment · Like
Friday, April 3, 2009 at 9:53am | Edit Note | Delete
Okay, this note is not my typical blog blog blog... i was wondering the other day whether to keep on with writing after my main subject(cancer) is no longer the focus of our life, however, i realized that during this journey we opened ourselves up and it was not only about cancer it was about one familys struggle in this thing we call life , so ,maybe our lives are on hold from the high drama and roller coaster ride it once was but we still keep on having "lowey moments " so i i will continue to write here and there, read only what you want, this is for fun , it is like spiritual exercise for me.
So a quick update on the latest...well...still taking it day by day ..still not sure of what were supposed to be doing...We are going to Mexico, mostly for a change of scenery and to spoil the kids a little its been a while since they've had a vacation or even a get away so im hoping that a 5 star all inclusive will satisfy their little "how come we nevers." We may not be going for the same reason everyone else goes but i do plan on lying on the beach and soaking up rays after being deprived of natural sunlight on the fluorescant induced cancer ward for so long. I am planning a bathing suit /bikini shopping trip with the girls this weekend ...does anyone know where you can buy a magic bikini?..you know the ones and if you dont know what i'im talking about...you suck!
We recently got a family membership to the new ARC so darcy and i have been working out quite a bit, unfortunately they dont sell abs for mexico anywhere so i guess its the old fashioned thing...exercise..no really..its been a good stress reliever and again not much time for that stuff last year, however, i did mention a parents gym for my wish list for the new childrens hospital so we'll see if my nagging paid off , hope none of you have to find out.
HHHMMMMM what else is new? oh yeah! for those who have been talking me out of my grade 7 reunion...i didn't listen , do i ever? I have to say i had a really good time despite the "carrie 3 " episode it could have been. I took my best friend Patty with me and glad i did, she keeps me from saying things i really shouldn't, (it works both ways )so thank you Patty. If you ever want to visit your "mini me" go to a 30 reunion from grade 7 when you have really not seen the people in that many years..its mind blowing ..especially when you see pictures of yourself that you dont even remember being taken(okay for those of you who know the scoop..thats not what im talking about) It was so wonderful to see the people who shaped your formative years , to look back and remember how cool you thought you were , to hear the music of the mid 70"s like fleetwood mac and abba and bay city rollers, to see that yes flared jeans were "in" back then. hard to look at the valiant efforts we made to replicate Farrah Fawcett's feathered hair-do. It was such a time of innocence i remember carefree days of leaving the house on my bike in the morning and not returning until dark at the age of 11 ...could we do that know ??? not unless you are ready to turn your kids over to some predator or child services ..your choice. Now, we have to arrange "play dates" when the hell did things go from that to this ...well i could probably tell you..right about that time because one of our classmates was actually a victim of Olsons terror so i'm assuming we were the last of the innocent age. I brought home a dvd from the reunion which featured one of my old classmates interviewing our gr 6 science teacher about the "chicken project" (anybody under the age of 30 should close there ears this gets graphic) we had to boil the skin off a dead chicken after disecting it, then remove all the bones and glue them back on cardboard in the right stucture??My children were horrifed..we thought nothing of it.
We also talked about peanut butter ..i know there are many kids allergic and i'm sure if my kid was one of them i'd be on the biggest soap box right now, but the word it self seems dirty now , peanut butter! its as canadian as ..well..maple syrup..im sure thats next, my heart goes out to those who cant afford much more than that , peanut butter is good protien and goes along way, i think i lived on it for many years .
Anyways, back to the reunion i appreciate all those offers of sending me to the reunion with armed police officers (leigh ann ..nancy)i'm good ...there were many laughs, many apologies, many memories, much empathy and a chance to get away from it for a while was kinda nice..felt like i had an angel watching over me the whole time...i think we know i did. Thanks for reading.
Peace,
Lori
Written over a year ago · Comment · Like
Tribute to Ashley Feb 2009
journey understood...thanks jen for your tributre to ashley
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 10:48am | Edit Note | Delete
Feb 16th 2009
What’s funny is that I am starting to type this blog at 11:11 my favorite time. For those of you who don’t know why it is my favorite, well, it is because legend says that someone who sees 11:11 has the angels watching over them.
Tonight my little angel will be Ashley Lowey. She is the newest member and most beautiful angel born into heaven today
Ashley who was 16 bravely fought her battle with ‘the beast’ for 14 months and she did so with a feisty, strong and unwavering strength. She was mainly an internal and quiet girl, a lot like Logan is and even yesterday when docs told her that treatment was no longer possible she didn’t panic but instead quietly absorbed the information and chose to close her eyes and rest instead.
Her mom, Lori is an incredibly remarkable and inspiring women. She is also the one who joked about pimping out her husband in one of my last blogs (sorry Darcy) which also makes her funny.
Lori is quick witted, will always be the first one who says it how it is and the one who I think gave Ash, her thick skin. Lori has been such an advocate, and has just played her role as an oncology mom perfectly, and I am so glad she got to be in Ashley’s corner through out this.. And for me, well I am just lucky to call her a friend.
Last night, a mere few hours before Ashley died, Lori called me and as we often do when we get together in person or on the phone we chatted for some time. However, last night our conversation was a bit more focused on the “what if’s” of deaths shadow lurking around.
We talked about previous families who have had to deal with such a painful struggle, we talked of the numerous moments in both our journeys where we too have worried if and when that moment comes how we will be able to cope.
We talked about healing vs.curing and how easily it to get them confused. And we even batted around a few “I can’t believe those….F’ing people”
But mostly we talked about honor. What an honor it is to be able to be the one that has been chosen to be with another person’s soul in a time of such need. I believe so deeply that it is the most incredible honor to be with someone when they are born, but it is a deeper and more incredible honor to be the one who is with them when they pass.
Lori completed understood and was unbelievably peaceful and calm.
About 8 hours before Ashley died, Lori was giving her a back rub to help make her comfortable and ease her pain. I know this because Lori had to call me back after her massage session with Ash.
I have thought about that all day. A mere hours before the transformation of a soul was about to occur a mother was preparing her child with the comfort of her touch, making her relax, holding her close and being completely present with her. How beautiful
How perfectly Motherly.
So, with that said, my blog tonight, although I could say a lot about Logan. Isn’t about Logan. It is about Ashley. It is in her honor, and it is in the honor of the whole beautiful Lowey family how amazingly they cared for their daughter and how they bonded together and grew closer and loved deeper and “got it” on so many levels.
It is about the healing that happened every day around them that helped carry some of the burden of this long struggle. It is about a remarkable child, a strong one, with beautiful friends and family, with a strong will to live and keep fighting. It is about those out there who lended a helping hand and brought meals or visited at the hospital or lent and ear or cried a few tears with them. It is about the community that banded together and gave Darcy, Lori and the girls the opportunity and to be with Ashley when she needed them most. No, this blog is not about sadness or pain. There has been too much of that already. It is about acknowledgment.
Acknowledging a life that has transformed. Acknowledging that today, while you wee going about your daily routine someone lost their daughter. Someones moment will forever stand still and their live will be forever changed. It is about acknowledging how precious life is and how quickly one moment can shape the rest of your life.
I ask you all to send every ounce of your love and compassion, and thoughts, and prayers, and condolences, to the Loweys. These are painful days ahead and they will need all of us hold them up.
To Ashley, I know you are running freely and you are finally without pain….smiling down ….I know that because tonight just as I was thinking of you and your family and sat down to write this it happened to be the time angels look down
11:11
and tonight I just I knew it was you.
Thanks Ash, god bless and may your beautiful soul and legacy radiate in everything meaningful that you loved and in the lives you have touched around you;
Rest in Peace. Beautiful girl.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 at 10:48am | Edit Note | Delete
Feb 16th 2009
What’s funny is that I am starting to type this blog at 11:11 my favorite time. For those of you who don’t know why it is my favorite, well, it is because legend says that someone who sees 11:11 has the angels watching over them.
Tonight my little angel will be Ashley Lowey. She is the newest member and most beautiful angel born into heaven today
Ashley who was 16 bravely fought her battle with ‘the beast’ for 14 months and she did so with a feisty, strong and unwavering strength. She was mainly an internal and quiet girl, a lot like Logan is and even yesterday when docs told her that treatment was no longer possible she didn’t panic but instead quietly absorbed the information and chose to close her eyes and rest instead.
Her mom, Lori is an incredibly remarkable and inspiring women. She is also the one who joked about pimping out her husband in one of my last blogs (sorry Darcy) which also makes her funny.
Lori is quick witted, will always be the first one who says it how it is and the one who I think gave Ash, her thick skin. Lori has been such an advocate, and has just played her role as an oncology mom perfectly, and I am so glad she got to be in Ashley’s corner through out this.. And for me, well I am just lucky to call her a friend.
Last night, a mere few hours before Ashley died, Lori called me and as we often do when we get together in person or on the phone we chatted for some time. However, last night our conversation was a bit more focused on the “what if’s” of deaths shadow lurking around.
We talked about previous families who have had to deal with such a painful struggle, we talked of the numerous moments in both our journeys where we too have worried if and when that moment comes how we will be able to cope.
We talked about healing vs.curing and how easily it to get them confused. And we even batted around a few “I can’t believe those….F’ing people”
But mostly we talked about honor. What an honor it is to be able to be the one that has been chosen to be with another person’s soul in a time of such need. I believe so deeply that it is the most incredible honor to be with someone when they are born, but it is a deeper and more incredible honor to be the one who is with them when they pass.
Lori completed understood and was unbelievably peaceful and calm.
About 8 hours before Ashley died, Lori was giving her a back rub to help make her comfortable and ease her pain. I know this because Lori had to call me back after her massage session with Ash.
I have thought about that all day. A mere hours before the transformation of a soul was about to occur a mother was preparing her child with the comfort of her touch, making her relax, holding her close and being completely present with her. How beautiful
How perfectly Motherly.
So, with that said, my blog tonight, although I could say a lot about Logan. Isn’t about Logan. It is about Ashley. It is in her honor, and it is in the honor of the whole beautiful Lowey family how amazingly they cared for their daughter and how they bonded together and grew closer and loved deeper and “got it” on so many levels.
It is about the healing that happened every day around them that helped carry some of the burden of this long struggle. It is about a remarkable child, a strong one, with beautiful friends and family, with a strong will to live and keep fighting. It is about those out there who lended a helping hand and brought meals or visited at the hospital or lent and ear or cried a few tears with them. It is about the community that banded together and gave Darcy, Lori and the girls the opportunity and to be with Ashley when she needed them most. No, this blog is not about sadness or pain. There has been too much of that already. It is about acknowledgment.
Acknowledging a life that has transformed. Acknowledging that today, while you wee going about your daily routine someone lost their daughter. Someones moment will forever stand still and their live will be forever changed. It is about acknowledging how precious life is and how quickly one moment can shape the rest of your life.
I ask you all to send every ounce of your love and compassion, and thoughts, and prayers, and condolences, to the Loweys. These are painful days ahead and they will need all of us hold them up.
To Ashley, I know you are running freely and you are finally without pain….smiling down ….I know that because tonight just as I was thinking of you and your family and sat down to write this it happened to be the time angels look down
11:11
and tonight I just I knew it was you.
Thanks Ash, god bless and may your beautiful soul and legacy radiate in everything meaningful that you loved and in the lives you have touched around you;
Rest in Peace. Beautiful girl.
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